Chelsea 1-0 Murderers

Burglary rates soared in the Capital last night, as the thieving Giro-wielders entered town for the first leg of the Champions League semi final.

They use their pathetic squeaky voices to break windows, then enter, and remove your stuff. Beware.

We should have had 3 in the first half, but Joey Cole put us ahead after superb work from Drogba. Their only chance came from a dipping "Stevie-G" shot, which Big Pete got down well to save.

So now we can count ourselves lucky, that we get to participate in "one of those glorious Anfield European nights". Yawn. If we score one, the thieves need three. The objective last night was not to concede an away goal, and we achieved that.

The difference between tonight and 05, is that this time, the Bin Dippers will actually have to get the ball to cross the line to win...