Camp Nou...Again

The third visit to Camp Nou in three seasons, didn't have the same build-up as previous outings with the fans. This was a group game, and we were leading the group by 5 points. The press however, tried their hardest to whip it up again as the two major enemies of European football meet to battle...

There's a huge amount of bollocks that surrounds this fixture. Unfortunately, it does spread onto the pitch, and you never get a decent game. The whistle blows every 15 seconds, and the referee has to sort out the pantomime and spend time issuing ratings for various thespian acts on show.

Last night was no exception. The day of the game focused on Jose's comments that Eidur dived to win a penalty at the weekend. This of course was an outrageous statement, a direct attack on a former Chelsea legend akin to murdering his children while they slept, and Jose should definitely hang for the heinous crime. The fact that every paper in Europe, and every TV channel had spent the last 48 hours saying the exact same thing was of no relevance.

Deco, the dirty looking, pick-pocket from the shanty town type, opened the scoring after only 3 minutes. A blow to us, but a decent goal. Going behind at a capacity Camp Nou isn't a situation you want to be in often, but we fought back well. Hilario made an awesome save within 10 minutes, and The Goofy Fucker sent one high over the bar, after his teeth hit a divot.

To be fair, the game was rubbish, until they actually settled down and started to play. Every game which Barcelona play in always has every Barca player at some point, surrounding the ref, demanding that opposition players are booked, and sent off. This was no exception, in fact, it was an extremely common occurrence, but we already know about that. The final booking tally from the very poor Italian referee was 7-4.

As the second half began, Frank Lampard looked like he mis-controlled a ball in the box, went away from goal, hugging the byline, turned unsighted and shipped an amazing ball over Valdes into the far post. A truly awesome goal, and if Ronaldinhio had scored it, surely, the planet would be fawning.

We were only ahead for 6 minutes, until Boris slotted home the second for Barca. A heart-wrenching moment, to see a proper Chelsea legend score against you in an important game. It was disappointing to see him get injured with 10 minutes to go, and leave on a stretcher.

John Terry picked up a superb booking, after Deco was writhing in agony on the floor. He booted the loose ball at him, and instantly, Deco was up - no longer in pain, but in JT's face. The classic look of intense fear when the 4-foot greasy midget realised who it was that did it was comedy gold!

Usual Barca tactics were implemented, but when the fourth official signalled 6 minutes of injury time, we had one last stab at it, and John Terry put a perfect header into Drogba, who chested the ball down, past Marqeuz (who kicked out at the player, not the ball) and slotted it under Valdes to give us the point we needed to put Barca back up the creek.

When the final whistle went, a minute early, Barca were enraged. The "always calm, classy and humble" (yeah...of course) Rijkaard shot out of the dug-out and straight at the referee (perhaps to spit in his face?). If Jose had done this, certainly, the enemy of football would have been burnt alive and destroyed for not shaking hands with his opposite number, but as it was Rijkaard; the greasy clogger who cavorts with the referee at half-time, we'll just leave it at that shall we?

The most amusing aspect to the whole spectacle had to be the ITV interviewer asking Jose three questions. The first was about the game. The other two were about how bad the referee was. Cut back to the studio - and watch the "pundits" tear him apart for "going on about the referee". Why does he need to talk about the referee after a game like this they asked? Because you fucking asked him about it you dumb fucks...