World Cup Watch: England v Portugal

The Bad News: We're out. On pens again.
The Good News: Sven has finally gone. A pitiful exit to Portugal, a fitting end to a total waste of 5 years of the best talent we've probably ever had.

The first half painted the picture of what was to come. Seemingly oblivious to the events that have transpired in every match he's taken charge of, the Swede continued with the one-up-front approach (a direct consequence of leaving all the strikers at home) which totally blunts any attacking options we have.

Rooney was isolated again, the same way the lone striker has been in each game of the tournament. The TV pundits have shown in each half-time and full-time analysis that this is the problem, and it is inconceivable to think the England camp cannot see it, or even worse, do see it but continue to persevere with it, for unfathomable reasons. Even Mark "I'm a twat" Lawrenson could see it, so that's proof that it is obvious to any idiot.

Ian Wright made the point at HT that if it continued as it was, Rooney would become increasingly frustrated and pick up bookings...as it was, a booking would have been great! Nothing changed at half-time (when does it ever?) and Beckham was forced to go off injured within 10 minutes, in what has now become his last game as England captain. Aaron Lennon came on, and again was superb, running at the defenders and making some sort of impact. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough time to support Rooney, because 10 minutes later, after a bit of a tussle, he decided to stamp on Ricky's bollocks...nice move!

Now this in itself would have got him sent off, the ref blew for a free kick, and that was pretty much it, until Rat Face Ronaldo, the pugnacious little scrotum...yes the same one, that is Rooney's Manc team-mate ran 20 yards to remonstrate and try to get him sent off. It worked, and was evidently the desired outcome, as he walked off, the cameras caught his wink to the bench, and hush gesture.

As England fans, we need someone to blame, and it might as well be him. After all, it wouldn't do us any good to blame the Golden Child, so he will do nicely. Let the witch-hunt begin. This is the one time I can fully advocate Rooney being as fat and hard as possible, going straight through the bastard on the first day of training. Not necessarily because of Saturday, but because he is an irritating fucker, with his poncy stepovers and constant whinging. Ruud Van Horseface, having previously sparked him out, should become an honorary Englishman from this point on!

There is also the possibility that he engineered the situation. It was a move that makes his position at Man Utd somewhat untenable, which is convenient for him, after making it public last week that he wanted to leave and join Real Madrid. He may think he has got what he wants now, but I for one hope he is made to stay for one more season, just so that we get to see him put into the stands 38 times!

It isn't necessarily the case that without the red card, we'd have won the match, but we'd have stood a much better chance, especially if Sven had actually made a decent substitution to help him out.

The last hour of the game was played with true spirit, but it all came too late.
Frank Lampard, Steve Gerrard and Jamie Carragher all missed theirs. The Carragher one seemed most bizarre, considering he was bought on with 2 minutes to go, with the sole intention of taking a spot-kick. Why? He's never taken one before?

Owen Hargreaves was the only one to score his, and the 'keeper got a hand to that one. Fitting really, because in the last two games, Hargreaves was the man of the team...superb performances as the anchor. Strangely, this coincided with him playing in his preferred position for the first time. Perhaps Sven should take note, and realise that players are comfortable and much better, when playing in their own position...surely that's not too complicated for the Swede to understand?

So another failed World Cup. Made worse by the confirmation that Brazil lost, and France would have been the semi-final opponents. This exit feels much worse than the others, because rather than being a bit lucky, this was the one where we did have the players to win it. It's just a shame half of them were sitting at home watching on TV, eh Sven? You can't help wonder what would have happened if we had a real manager in charge, like Jose or Fergie.

Finally, John Terry must now become the new Captain. And we need to hope that the last 5 years really have been down to the incompetence of the Swede, and hope for all we're worth that he wasn't just a fraud and that McClaren has been in charge all this time, because if that's the case, we're still fucked!