Wimbledon Estate Agents: Don't choose Ellisons

Why wouldn't you choose Ellisons (http://www.ellisons.uk.com) to try to sell your house? Well, because they're shit basically! Unless you want a useless bunch of amateurs to spin bullshit to you that is.

If you do choose them, expect the following superb benefits:

Instant viewing arrangement (within 2 minutes of signing up with them). Don't hold your breath, this is just one of their mates which they use as a stooge. No kidding.

Do your own viewings. Why have an estate agent getting in the way? These chaps will just send the punter around for you to conduct your own viewings. Question? What the fuck am I paying you for then?!

"We sold 10 just like yours last month". Hmmm yeah. Of course you did!

"We're expecting lots of new viewings next week."

"Spring/Summer/Autumn/Winter (Delete as aplicable) is the quietest time of the year, don't you know"

Not only that, you get to visit their poxy office, miles away from all the other agents' plush offices, to argue over the 6 week minimum contract period (which you'll discover is actually 8 weeks), before you can leave them. And you will leave them. You'll then go and pick another agent who will actually do what you pay them for. I recommend Ludlow Thompson!

Anyone who prints "Estate Agent of the Year" everywhere in huge letters, and then in small print after adds "Innovation" must surely be side-stepped. If having won a single award in an innovation category in an award ceremony where each of the two entrants wins something for turning up, 4 years ago is the best they can shout about, then you'd be better off using "Honest Johns Property Services"...

In short - don't touch these Ellisons cowboys with anyone else's barge pole!