Pain in the Barce

Uefa directive. Mission accomplished. Congratulations!

I did think they would at least wait until the second-leg to send one of ours off - or even the second half! Nope. Del Horno (idiot anyway) ended the campaign before we had a chance to begin.

Of course, it was scripted. The Barcelona players were waiting for someone to go down under a tackle, and then all sprinted over acting as if both Messi's legs had been broken off and the cripple had been beaten around the head with them. Even their 'keeper was over the halfway line.

We still managed to batter them, scoring first with our 10 men, and their first goal came about from a free-kick awarded on a "foul" that wouldn't even get a second glance in the Premiership.

We'll still have a good laugh in Barcelona, and we'll still win the Premiership - back to backing titles, which is more than the Gooners have ever done. And Uefa, we'll still be Chelsea, and you can't ever touch that!