Zzzzzzzzz.......

"Matchday 2 in the Champions League". Chelsea faced Wimbledon...oops Liverpool at Anfield.

It's very simple. Drogba is still shit, as has been stated since the day we had the misfortune to sign him. Mind you, we never even got close to entertaining the thought that Peter the Beanpole Crouch might actually be a good signing!

The Chinese have this morning apparently taken a recording of the game to replace their water torture. This, combined with matchsticks under the eyelids is enough to break anyone.

Villa Thriller

Hardly a thriller, but a very entertaining Saturday afternoon anyway.

The biggest threat from Villa, other than Milan Baros and Kevin Phillips, both out with injured, is David O'Dreary. His teams are usually enough to send you to sleep after 20 minutes, and it was with this in mind that I had fears for JT and Gallas at the back this weekend.

As it happens, we did lose our clean sheet record, to a very good goal by Luke Moore. A rare defensive mix-up saw the defence fall on top of each other, giving the young kid a chance, which he took really well. Cech got his hand to it, but it bounced inside the post anyway.

We were behind for the first time this season, and behind for a whole 40-odd seconds!

Essien was bundled over on the edge of the box, and Frank Lampard sent a superb free kick through a gap in the wall and into the net. Half time, 1-1.

The second half stats would have been very interesting. Possession would have read somewhere along the lines of 95% Chelsea. The appalling referee awarded us a penalty when Drogba was through, but this was probably because of the abuse he'd received all game when he missed a blatant pen on JT in the first half.

The irony of it is that it was that bad decision which finally woke the home crowd up. The largest home crowd since 1986 had to that point been almost silent, which is a more common occurrence this season, with the away fans having been moved into the Shed corner. The result being, the best atmosphere for ages.

Frank converted the pen, and the match finished 2-1. Joy compounded by Arsenal, Liverpool and the Mancs dropping points. Various Manc cretins had been gobbing off all week about needing to beat Blackburn and Fulham to stay in touch...well they lost to Blackburn at Old Trafford, and Fergie was booed off the pitch. Nice.

Wenger also came up with his own plan for a new points scheme this weekend! Amusingly, I don't remember him coming up with one this time last season, when his "Invincibles" were still unbeaten. In fact, he was very happy with the current system back then. His new idea goes along the lines of:
"Every week, my beautiful boys get zee extra points, because we are the only people in zee world who play zee beautiful game. Just look at zee FA Cup final to see how attacking and wonderful we are. And every week, zee Chelzee scum must get no points, because....well, because zis it how it should be."

Champions League action again this week. A trip to Anfield for us. Watch out "Stevie".

Chavton 0-2 Chelsea

Every Summer, the season begins the same way. Charlton get off to a flyer. By the ten-game mark, they start to level out. People mention the words 'Charlton' and 'Europe' together a few times, because they have the memory of a goldfish. They scrape past Christmas, and then it happens. The team falls apart and they lose every game on the way to May, fighting on the last day to survive the drop.

This year has so far been no different. A great start by the Chavs from the shit hole of London. Second in the league, also celebrating their centenary season, and that's as good as it gets. They started well enough. Made a few chances, but never really looked like doing much. We struck the woodwork twice, and it wasn't until the second half that we opened the scoring.

Crespo scored with a great header and the game changed. Five minutes later, Robben collected on the edge of the area and swung a curling ball into the top corner. Two superb goals.

6 games into the season, still no goals conceded. 18 points. More goals scored than any other team. Boring Chelsea indeed.

Chelsea 1-0 Anderlecht

Mayonnaise on chips, Hercule Poirot and chocolates...that's about it really. Belgium's offering to the world. Last night saw Anderlecht visit The Bridge, and lose 1-0 in front of a very good travelling support, some distance ahead of the home support.

An attendance figure of under 30K was inevitable, even though the club have been touting tickets on radio adverts and leaflet dropping all London commuter routes all week. Not because it wasn't a glamour tie, or because it was live on ITV1, but because they wanted slightly under 50 quid for the cheapest seats. The average seat price last night was well over 60 quid. It really has reached that point where supply has exceeded demand. The price has been pushed up so far this season that people are finally saying no. I would bet that the attendance would have been a good 7-8000 less too had the club admitted upfront that season ticket holders would get no discount for buying the 3 group games together early, as has always happened in the past.

I understand that good players and good facilities means price rises, but there is a limit, and it has been reached. 'Normal' people cannot afford to attend 4 or 5 matches a month anymore. And lets face it, with the players we're buying, and the ridiculous wages they are being paid, ticket prices would have to be 100 times what they are now to fund them, so it's hardly a valid argument.

I sat in my usual seat and only 3 of the 50 or so usual faces were visible. The stand was packed full of tourists, which is fairly normal for weekday evening games, but nauseating none the less. Being asked to take photos of people with the pitch behind them, and listening to cretins who have never been to a football ground before will never produce the kind of atmosphere required to give the team a boost in Europe.

Frank Lampard scored a great free-kick which the keeper should have saved. To be fair, Anderlecht could probably have scored 3, but a combination of lack of ability and luck meant they didn't get any. Early in the game a great ball was played through the back line, only for their striker to 'pass' it closer to the corner flag than the goal. Unchallenged!

The closest they came was a speculative shot in the second half which bounced back off the post in the end, after taking a wicked bobble and bouncing up over Petr Cech's outstretched arm.

Lessons should be learnt about the atmosphere and the attendance. Chances are they won't be.

100% record maintained against Mackems

Saturday was Sunderland at home, and it was a pretty ropey game. Torrential rain and thunder/lightning, the complete disappearance of any atmosphere at Stamford Bridge now that the away fans have been moved (and the prawn sarnies have moved in), and not the most glamorous of opposition.

They started fairly well for a team that have lost all their games so far, but we never got out of first gear. The best that can be said about the game is that Kevin Pike, the worst lino in the world didn't actually cock anything up. Which is more than can be said for Mike Dean, the pathetic little Hitler who booked Joe Cole for diving 2 minutes after coming on as a sub, just a second after he was smacked in the face by the arm of the defender!

A great reaction from Geremi saw him score from the mix-up in the Sunderland defence and the result was achieved. Drogba got one later to make it 2-0 final score, from a superb Damien Duff cross.

The Gate 13 steward who has more than a passing resemblance to Hercule Poirot got a bit arsey when some joker threw a paper aeroplane at him, which set off the entire lower tier making paper planes out of the junk mail provided by The Sun for the afternoon. That will be the last time that particular marketing avenue is explored then. Thankfully.

The evening was boosted by the news that Man City had forced a draw with Man Utd and that the Mighty Boro managed to beat Arsenal. The pathetic paedo in charge up there did his usual petulant interview, using only "yis" and "non" answers. Which is great in reality, because no-one actually wants to listen to the myopic cretin anyway!

Anderlecht on Tuesday. A ridiculous 46.50 plus 1.50 Barnett tax. Outrageous.

Mash the Swede

Finally it happened. Sven the Swede lost a qualifier. To Northern Ireland. That in itself isn't the problem. It's the dour performance, and total lack of any idea from the man in charge.

Different game, same mistakes. Every time. Will he ever learn? Obviously not.

This is England. And Jamie Carragher? Jamie Carragher??? And when you're a goal down, with ten minutes to go, what happens? The idiot brings on OWEN FUCKING HARGREAVES??? Jesus wept. I was just waiting for David James to come on to really make a joke of it all.

Yet again, it's worth reminding everyone of Peter Kenyon's worth. At a time when people are having a go at the Chelsea Chief Executive, it should be remembered that he has made possibly the best move of the decade for us by screwing up the acquisition of Sven. It is unthinkable, what a disaster area Stamford Bridge would have been had that twat appeared in charge...

Of course, The FA would sack him if only they could, but they can't. Why? Because they stuck him on such a heavy contract when they thought they might lose him, that they can't afford to. And the man himself says today he won't resign. Well why would he?

Not once, in any post-match interview has anyone dared to ask him why he made the decisions he did, and what his 'tactics' were. Probably, because they already know he doesn't have a clue.

Jamie Carragher and Owen Hargreaves? Sven....fuck off.