Tiagone

The transfer of Tiago to Lyon has finally been completed for around 10 million euros.

Amusingly, the garlic-muncher in charge, after the whole Essien saga, complained that the price of Tiago had gone up since negotiations began!

Ahhhhh boo hoo. Don't choke on your frogs legs will you?

It's so easy, at the Lane

The annual trek up the Tottenham High Road to collect three points was undertaken on Saturday, and it was as uneventful as ever.

It's been 18 years since Totnum beat us up there, and 15 years since they beat us at all in the league. Every year, people get twitchy and bang on about how the record has to end, and sod's law would have it that when we finally get one over on their North London neighbours, their time would come.

Far from it really. Although resurgent under the 'much too good for them' Martin Jol, they were still no match for the mighty Blues. Mido the shoe-bomber was sent off after 25 minutes, for a second elbow on Asier Del Horno, and Totnum fans and management appear to believe they would have beaten us had that not happened! Yeah, ok.

Shown in isolation, the decision to send off their best player looks harsh, but coupled with his reputation and the niggling touches and warning from the ref before hand, it's fair enough.

Halsey could probably have evened it up by sending off the Bison that is Essien for a touch on 4-eyes Davids. Realistically, there was no chance. He wasn't last man, Davids had lost the ball and the touch was so slight, Essien wasn't even looking towards him at the time. The decision was ratified 10 minutes later when he dived in the exact same place, under a tackle from the invisible man.

Highlight of the day had to be listening to Jol on the radio on the way home. He said it was unfair of the travelling Chelsea fans to sing "It's so easy, at the Lane". Cheers Martin - you really did make our day!

2-0 final score. And it never looked like it would be anything else.

European Cup Group Stage Draw

The draw was made yesterday for the group stage of the European Cup and Lady Luck smiled upon us. We managed to be drawn in the same group as Liverpool, along with Anderlecht and Real Betis.

It gives us the prospect of avenging last seasons exit by Liverpool, who, lets remember finished 38 points behind us in the league. Closer to the bottom than the top!

Betis will involve a nice trip to Seville again, and Anderlecht is a short train ride away.

Chelsea 4-0 Baggies

Wet, windy, Wednesday night and West Brom. It doesn't set the pulse racing, but the game turned out to be fairly entertaining.

West Brom saved themselves from the drop last season in the final match, against all odds, and gave a good account of themselves last night, until we scored the first goal.

Most of the focus was on the new signings, who all started, and Frank Lampard, new father to Luna, his first child.

Essien, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Asier Del Horno have all been very impressive in the first few games. It appeared difficult to strengthen the squad we had last season, but that certainly seems to have happened, and when you add Crespo into the mix, without doubt one of the top 5 strikers in the world, it does look like it could be difficult to stop us this year.

Del Horno looks particuarly impressive at this early stage. Wayne Bridge must be wishing Ashley Cole had arrived instead! Essien runs and tackles well, and SWP refuses to give up on anything, chasing a 'lost' ball last night to set up Frank for the first of his brace.

Robben made an appearance, and managed to beat 5 players, stop in the box, ask for a foul, not get it, carry on, and with Crespo's help, set up Frank for his second, and the 4th of the night.

So the result puts us back to the top of the table for our visit to the rejuvinated Totnum on Saturday...

Chelsea 1-0 Gooners

And there we have it. A league win over Airline FC. And before we begin, lets address what will no doubt be their first excuse. Yes, it was a flukey goal, off Drogba's shin, and he knew nothing about it. So that's exactly the same as the winner Terry Henry scored against us at the Library in the league. Next?

It wasn't a great game, but it's too early in the season to be anyway.

Llungberg left the pitch early in the first half, after becoming overwhelmed by a naked man. An early cold shower was required.

Essien, Del Horno and Shaun Wright-Phillips made their home debuts and all looked like they will prove to be great purchases.

Drogba did well early in the second half to bring down a ball in the box, but then smashed it up into the stand. Someone in the MHL obviously told him what everyone else thought of him last season, and for some reason he took exception to this and tried to "offer the bloke out"! He almost took it way too far gobbing towards the bloke. Luckily for him, he was turning around while he spat, but needless to say, had he spat in the direction of the bloke, regardless of what gesture started the whole thing, he'd have been in trouble...

Eidur noticed what he'd done and had a word, obviously making it clear that he'd get a kicking from his team mates in the dressing room if he spat at the crowd!

When he did score, with a total bit of mis-control on the ege of the six yard box, he went straight back to the same bloke in the crowd, obviously to find out what he thought of him now! Good for him, but I didn't see him going over there again in the last minute when he missed another sitter against David Hasselhoff in the orange kit in goal for the Gooners.

In injury time, the ball was sent over the bar into the crowd, who lets say, didn't necessarily throw it back as quickly as they could have. Hasselhoff turned and cried to the ref, poitning to his watch, just as some bloke threw the ball back at him. He turned around as it hit him on the head, and flinched like a girl, much to the amusement of the fans. He didn't like it at all, and pretended to boot the ball into the supporters. Fuck, you're 'ard aren't you Jerry?! Without the perm you'd look even harder!

Lots of talk from the Gooners before this game, after the Charidee Shield, about how that was only a friendly, and the real money was in the league. Yep, correct. They are actually starting to doubt their own hype now...it's been a while since that's happened at Arsenal.

A new season: Wigan

Yesterday saw the final two games of the opening weekend of Premiership action, with Arsenal hosting Newcastle, and new boys Wigan providing the new ground for us to visit. Wigan have gone from formation to Premiership in little over 25 years, and the JJB stadium is a great home for them.

They gave a superb performance on their maiden appearance, and were very unlucky not to hang on for the draw, but in the third minute of injury time, the returning Hernan Crespo lashed a fantastic 25 yard shot into the far corner to take all 3 points.

We looked rusty, which is not unusual in the first few weeks of the season, but we still took the points, which is what everyone needs to watch out for again.

Essien Deal

It looks this morning like the Essien deal will be completed today, probably for an undisclosed fee.

With the addition of the midfielder from Ghana, the squad should have the much needed 2 players per position to challenge for the Premiership and the Champions League.

Oui Essien, Non!

Last night, Jean-Michel Aulas stated, for the 74th time, that the Essien deal was off and he would be staying with Lyon. In the most boring and drawn out transfer saga of the season, this Garlic-Muncher has made himself look a bit more of a fool than usual.

Every day for the last 7 days, he has said "Today is zee final day. Zee deadline wheel be today at 5pm. Essien will stay or go today". And at 5.01pm he promptly phones some newspaper again and tells them that Roman has phoned him personally and begged to give him 7 yachts and 140 players in exchange for Essien, if only he will meet him tomorrow. Hmmmmm.

Firstly, we'll get him when we want him, but not for the stupid money they are asking. Secondly, we're developing a nice habit of leaving clubs stuck with players who have publically stated they no longer want to be there. Essien has gone one step further saying he will never play for Lyon again. With Ashley Cole, it is amazing how many Gooners can't see past the "Cole signs new contract" headline to notice that it is only a one year extension, just enough for him to be sold to someone else (not us) next Summer, instead of being able to walk off for free the year after. Reality Check.

Jean-Michel Aulas has taken his beret, string of onions, baguettes, garlic and snails and thrown them right out of his pram now. Thinking he was negotiator of the year, and failing miserably. So far, the only negotiations have gone on in his head.

Oh well, that's Lyon for us in the Champions League group stages this season then...

It's Charidee mate

The annual season opener kicked off the Premiership season on Sunday. The Charidee Shield, or "The Community Shield sponsored by McDonalds" as its now known saw 60,000 Londoners traipse down to the Shithole of Wales, into a shithole stadium, with shithole views to watch what is nothing but a 'friendly'.

Of course, with Little Ashley and Dein being in the news over the Summer, the press tried to build it up as anything but friendly, but the reality is, we've always hated those North London wankers anyway!

It was quite satisfying to see the Paedophile make small mouse-like noises about how great his team spirit is. The same team that Vieira walked out of, Ashley Cole tried to walk out of, Reyes wanted to walk out of, Pires wanted to walk out of...

Send-her-off partnering Cygan in central defence made our day, and made Drogba look good. The question for the season is whether he is better than he was last season (awful) or whether they made him look good. Both his goals were taken superbly though it must be noted.

Wenger did nothing but whinge in the build up, and has done nothing but whinge since his 2-1 defeat. So, normal start to a Premiership season then.